Dearest Daughter, you may not know this, and you may not always feel it. But, I do love you. When you were a baby and I sang “You are my Sunshine” to you while nursing or just cuddling, they were not words to me. That was and is how I felt and feel. Watching you go from the baby in my arms, to the toddler who ran to my arms, to that precious Kindergartner who grabbed my hand when we walked to school. Then I watched you go from a lovely child who wanted nothing to do with girlie things in elementary school to a lovely young girl in Middle School who slowly, but surely went back to enjoying girl clothing. But! You love your skateboard and are saving up for a long board if you don’t get one for your Birthday or Christmas. You still like to hug me, or, do I force that and you tolerate it to make me happy? lol
I absolutely love the fact that you, for the most part, don’t give a darn what other’s think of you. Yes, you are sensitive and it may bother you inside, but, you don’t let others know how you are truly affected. You my dear? Are a gift. A treasure. You? Are my Sunshine. The reason I wake up every morning. I don’t say this to put pressure on you to be perfect. If I expected perfection, I’d be setting you up to fail. No one is perfect. Not me, not your father, not your Aunts/Uncles/Cousins and Grandparents. It may feel that we want you to be perfect, and sometimes, when the yelling occurs?
Maybe we do want perfection. In THAT moment.
Because we don’t want to argue with you.
Because we don’t want to yell at you.
Because I don’t want the attitude that causes all of the above.
There are times we will think, “This child makes it hard to be the parent I want to be”. But you know what? It’s not the child that makes it hard. It’s not the parent that makes it hard. It is life. It is the values we instill in ourselves. We can only hope that you see we are there for you. We want to have fun with you. No, as much as I threaten it, I will NOT learn how to twerk and chaperone all your school dances and twerk right along with you. But, it’s fun for me to say it. I know! That’s a horrible way to have fun, but, I have a warped sense of humor, so, what can I say. We are so much alike, yet, we are SO different. I see so much of myself in you, and I bring that out, but, I’m mom. I should not act that way. Well, mom’s like to have fun too Remember that when you roll your eyes because I’m dancing or singing around the house. I’m not the best singer, but, I like to sing. I’ll be doing more of that going forward
My daughter, you are the most independent, self aware, confident, intelligent and beautiful person that YOU were meant to be. My perceptions of what my child should and shouldn’t be? Are just that. Perceptions. Your father and I conceived you. Your father and I try our best, in two households, to guide you into the young adult and adult that you will turn into. But, I can’t mold you. You are going to be who you were meant to be. I can’t protect you from everything. As much as I may want to. And from some of our arguments? You know that I try!
Will we continue to disagree and yell at one another? Yes we will. That’s what parents and children do. Will you tell me again, “I hate you”? Yes, you will. Will it hurt us to hear that? Sometimes, but, at least we know that we are guiding you to the best of our abilities. You are going into your tough years now. You are going to be a teenager. This word strikes fear into every parents heart. But, somehow, we will make it through. We will have the battle scars when you go off to college to prove that we made it through these upcoming years.
So, with all that said, I will repeat.
You are your perfect self
You are beautiful
You are intelligent
You know yourself, don’t let anyone to ever take that away from you. Be you.
Don’t follow others
But, don’t lead others
You have your own drummer. March with pride
I love you!